Awareness and Presence: Understanding the Self

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 While visiting the local river bend, a dear friend’s kid asked me if I believed in the Big Bang Theory. 

I held back from unleashing a stream of words that might sound smart but say nothing, and instead answered honestly.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t there. But how amazing is it that some kind of mystery has us standing here together, by the river, where possibilities feel endless?”

We humans tend to cling to the idea that we need to know things. Maybe even everything.

But if you woke up one day and found out the Earth is flat, or round, whichever is opposite to what you believe now, would it actually change how you live your day?

Would it really matter to your morning, your breath, your coffee, your conversations?

In my world, I call things like that outside my pay grade.

Meaning it belongs to something bigger than me. Something I do not control.

And I trust what I came from. That trust feels like faith. Not something forced. Something internal. Something that connects me back to the source of life itself.

My philosophy in a nutshell

I work with the relationship between Being and Body.

The aim is to live this human experience as cleanly and naturally as possible.

Neither the Being nor the Body speaks in language.

We feel first.

Then we try to translate.

Language comes after. It is not the original form.

And depending on the language, and how it has evolved, every perspective can hold some truth.

But underneath all of it, what really matters is intent.

The direction of the Being moving through the Body.

And when that intent is clear and can be acted on, there is something powerful about that.

Divide and conquer

It is a wartime strategy.

But what else has it quietly divided?

The self.

The part of us that is awareness in motion. Always moving.

Our natural state is movement.

When that movement stops, things begin to feel off.

Not wrong. Just not flowing.

At some point, we all knew what it felt like to be whole without trying.

Now we have layers and labels. Subconscious. Conscious. Ego. Inner child. Identities.

It keeps going.

That is why I lean toward simplicity.

Coming back to a sense of wholeness.

Living from that place of steady awareness.

It feels like something we are born with.

And yet we pull everything apart so much that we forget how it fits together.

Nature shows us differently.

Everything living moves as one.

A simple way to look at emotional processing

Energy moves

When we are overwhelmed, we can freeze

What is not processed gets held

Then it becomes part of identity

“I am…”

From there, patterns begin

Those patterns can work against us

The energy attracts more of the same

Each time it is triggered, it strengthens

The body keeps going, but it feels heavy

The cycle repeats

Unless we turn toward the feeling

Find it

Open it

Move through it

Use imagination if needed

Something releases

The charge softens

And what is left feels neutral

And in that neutral space, there is peace

Sometimes I picture it like small clusters held in the body, each one carrying a charge. When they are opened and released, they do not keep pulling the same patterns back in. The energy is freed for living instead of looping.

All mammals have a way of returning to calm by shaking and resetting.

Somewhere along the way, humans drifted from that natural design.

We keep looking for new tools, but maybe it is more about remembering what is already built into us.

For me, imagination feels like a key.

Ancient myths and quiet patterns

You can see these same patterns reflected across stories through time.

Stories of light and dark
Stories of endings
Stories of cycles completing

What if those stories are not about something out there, but something within us

The ending of held tension
The return to balance

I have asked myself why darkness exists

And one thought that came was this

What if it is simply unfinished experiences that never got the chance to resolve

And because they stay charged, they keep repeating

What happens if we stop feeding them

Stop holding onto what no longer serves

Does attention keep things alive longer than they need to be

I do not know

But it is an interesting space to explore

So why do I do this work

Because simplicity helps

And complexity often builds the problem in the first place

I have never really fit into neat boxes

I have spent a lot of time outside them

One thing I have explored is the idea that words and stories shape far more than we realise

And sometimes they are used against us without us noticing

I have spent most of my life watching these patterns, first out of necessity, now with more choice

What I offer comes from that

Something simple
Something honest
Something that feels clean

And yes, I enjoy it

When everything shifted during COVID, I started looking for people who were helping clear some of the noise

Along the way, I met many people doing their part

Each carrying a piece

Doing what they can

Because there is more potential in people than most realize

And it feels good to contribute to that

Closing

Stories can be entertaining

But do they sometimes pull us away from what is real

Is the end of time just the end of illusion

What is time anyway

And if this is a kind of game

Are you moving through it unconsciously

Are you aware of how you are playing

Or are you simply watching

That witnessing space holds more than people think

I will end the same way I began

I do not know

But I am enjoying learning

And being here

And moving through this strange, beautiful experience

Thank you for reading

Sue